Do you really belong here?

Arise!  Now is the summer of Baytriotism!

The several billboards Downtown proclaiming Baytriotism have prompted an investigation into the world of the Baytriot.  It is a world shrouded in yellow and blue, and centered on that unique blend of 18 herbs and spices.  In order to become certified a Baytriot you must pass a rigorous test, which includes such questions as, “What is the name of the best shortstop ever?” (The only available answer is “Cal.”)  Yet, surely a mere five-question multiple-choice quiz doesn’t begin to cover all of what it means to be a true Baytriot…

Here’s a quick list, feel free to add:

1. You know that hands, not mallets, are the proper tool for eating crabs.
2. You’ve stickered countless Bay Game Activity Books on trips “goen downy oshin”.
3. You know that Old Bay isn’t just relegated to crabs – take the Old Bay Bloody Beer-y, a cocktail for the adventurous Baytriot.
4. You shout “O” during the national anthem, no matter where you are.
5. You refuse to eat Maryland crab cakes outside of Maryland.  Who do they think they’re kidding anyway?
6. You’ve taken pictures with Fifi at the Kinetic Sculpture Race.
7. You’ve visited Edgar Allen Poe’s grave on Halloween or another similarly spooky day.
8. You remember the good ole’ days when you were allowed to swim in the Bay, not that it was cleaner back then mind you.
9. You always knew that the Natty Boh Man and the Utz Potato Chip Girl were meant to be together.

If you’re a true Baytriot, you know exactly how to celebrate your heritage. Leave work around 4pm citing “personal reasons” to your dubious superior. Find a bar, have a Natty Boh. On tap is fine, out of a can is better. Head over to Lexington Market for Faidleys crab cakes. Enjoy them there, or take them to Camden Yards. Purchase a cheap ticket, grab another Boh on your way in, and eat your crab cakes while you discreetly elbow Yankee fans. Rinse, repeat.