Do you really belong here?
Arise! Now is the summer of Baytriotism!
The several billboards Downtown proclaiming Baytriotism have prompted an investigation into the world of the Baytriot. It is a world shrouded in yellow and blue, and centered on that unique blend of 18 herbs and spices. In order to become certified a Baytriot you must pass a rigorous test, which includes such questions as, “What is the name of the best shortstop ever?” (The only available answer is “Cal.”) Yet, surely a mere five-question multiple-choice quiz doesn’t begin to cover all of what it means to be a true Baytriot…
Here’s a quick list, feel free to add:
- You know that hands, not mallets, are the proper tool for eating crabs.
- You’ve stickered countless Bay Game Activity Books on trips “goen downy oshin”.
- You know that Old Bay isn’t just relegated to crabs – take the Old Bay Bloody Beer-y, a cocktail for the adventurous Baytriot.
- You shout “O” during the national anthem, no matter where you are.
- You refuse to eat Maryland crab cakes outside of Maryland. Who do they think they’re kidding anyway?
- You’ve taken pictures with Fifi at the Kinetic Sculpture Race.
- You’ve visited Edgar Allen Poe’s grave on Halloween or another similarly spooky day.
- You remember the good ole’ days when you were allowed to swim in the Bay, not that it was cleaner back then mind you.
- You always knew that the Natty Boh Man and the Utz Potato Chip Girl were meant to be together.
If you’re a true Baytriot, you know exactly how to celebrate your heritage. Leave work around 4pm citing “personal reasons” to your dubious superior. Find a bar, have a Natty Boh. On tap is fine, out of a can is better. Head over to Lexington Market for Faidleys crab cakes. Enjoy them there, or take them to Camden Yards. Purchase a cheap ticket, grab another Boh on your way in, and eat your crab cakes while you discreetly elbow Yankee fans. Rinse, repeat.